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    • Mar 1, 2021

2020: The Year in Tiers - The Worst

It's a couple of months later than usual so that we could include all of the 2020 Oscar eligible films released, but here we are with the first installment of our Year in Tiers recap of the Best and Worst films 2020 had to offer. As always, I'll preface this with the note that obviously there are some dogshit terrible films out there that didn't make this list but these are the worst films we actually took the time to finish and intrigued us enough to seek them out in the first place. In a year as dreadful as 2020, it's hard for something awful to stand out. But I don't think I've ever heard a term as ridiculously catastrophic as "fire tornadoes" in my life and somehow they're a cliff note on one of the worst year's in American history. Fire tornadoes. Just let the insanity of that sink in. Anyways, these were the fire tornadoes of film in 2020.

#87. Hubie Halloween

I understand Adam Sandler is almost exclusively producing straight to Netflix fart jokes for pre-teens these days but why does it have to be this goddamned lazy? The movie's humor hinges almost entirely on Sandler's unbearably stupid voice, novelty t-shirts and PG-13 level gross out humor. Again, it's not a crime against humanity to provide cheap laughs for kids with your fellow SNL alumni but given the embarrassment of riches at Sandler's disposal (which includes Kevin James, Keenan Thompson, Ray Liotta, Steve Buscemi, Julie Bowen, Maya Rudolph, Michael Chiklis, Tim Meadows, Colin Quinn, George Wallace, Ben Stiller, The Weeknd and FUCKING SHAQ) it's hard not to consider this an enormous waste of talent and even bigger waste of time for all involved; especially the audience.


#86. The Jesus Rolls

I've never been a huge fan of the Big Lebowski. I mean, it's okay, but the cult following it's achieved over the years always kind of baffled me. I'm not sure I'd even say it's one of the Coens' Top 10 films. But next to The Jesus Rolls, it looks the holy fucking grail of comedic excellence. This is a meandering middle aged road movie with absolutely no payoff on any one of it's excruciatingly slow set ups surrounding painfully dry and uninteresting characters. I really only gave this a shot because I like John Turturro and I was hoping his directorial debut would only stoop to a spin-off like this if he had a truly purposeful story to tell. Instead, he's inexplicably superimposed his most recognizable character into a book adaptation that has nothing to do with the Lebowski lore he's mining for approval.


#85. Dreamland

A painfully slow and pretentious Terrance Malick impostor; Dreamland does the unthinkable and nullifies even Margot Robbie's enchantment. It's a slow burn western that never ignites, just rolls along aimlessly like a tumbleweed with next to no conflict or tension anywhere passed the opening 15 minutes. Finn Cole is an incredibly bland protagonist and the mystique around Margot Robbie's true intentions aren't enough to revolve the entire 98 minute run time around. The period recreation is also incredibly subpar leaving the entire proceedings to look and feel like a student project from a kid who decides to major in photography after their sepia filtered sunset instagram post gets featured on the local news.


#84. Falling

Viggo Mortenson is an incredible actor. Maybe one of the most underrated leading men of the past 10 years. But his directorial debut (which he also happened to write, produce, and compose the music for) seems to have spread himself a little too thin. The story of an out of touch, old fatherly figure has been done to death and Lance Henriksen plays the role so over the top that there's really not a redeeming quality to be found in the film's central character. The entire cast is incredibly stiff in this predictable family drama where even Viggo himself seems to be sleepwalking through the proceedings until the film's final 20 minutes. Obviously investing so much of himself in every facet points to Mortenson having a very personal connection with this story but the passion he has for this project doesn't translate to the audience in any way.


#83. Come Play

Essentially a smart phone Babadook knock off, Come Play doesn't come close to the dramatic tension built in it's Australian counterpart and the autism angle here feels very tacked on in an incredibly clumsy manner. I'm all for equal representation in film but there was a lot around the autistic lead that felt very problematic - especially the way the film's speech pathologist and parents try to reward Oliver for communicating verbally. Ultimately you're left with a lame collection of CGI jump scares and unfounded facebook mom parenting wrapped in a finger wagging vilification of youth dependency on technology.


#82. You Should Have Left

Screenwriter David Koepp, who hasn't directed a feature film since 2015's Mortdecai, returns to the director's chair with a vapid haunted house melodrama about a hollow rich white family fighting with each other on their luxury air bnb trip. The only horror to be found here is white privilege. Kevin Bacon and Amanda Seyfried are absolutely wasted on such boring and 1 dimensional characters, spewing some of the most cringe-worthy dialogue you'll find in any film this year. It seems ass backwards to say this but the writer of Jurassic Park, Spider-Man, and Mission Impossible really fails to live up to the standard of Blumhouse horror.


#81. Hillbilly Elegy

It seems like every year there's a cliche awards season flick that gets tagged as Oscar-bait before it's even released and crumbles under the weight of it's own presumed hype. For 2020, Hillbilly Elegy is absolutely that movie. It's a ridiculously over the top feel good underdog story filled with award thirsty overacting from Amy Adams and Glenn Close that's laugh out loud terrible. Amy Adams, high off her ass, roller skating through an ICU to the soundtrack of Bananarama's "Cruel Summer" is the pinnacle moment; embodying the white trash tragedy intended to tug at your heart strings but instead leaves you either dismissively rolling your eyes or outright laughing out loud at the unintentionally funny absurdity. How has Ron Howard become this tone deaf and heavy handed?


#80. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

Aside from a surprisingly fun comedic performance from Dan Stevens, this latest Will Ferrell vehicle is utterly forgettable. The costumes and theatrics feel like second tier Blades of Glory gimmicks left on the cutting room floor and the jokes aren't even good enough to earn that label. Painfully unfunny and ungodly long for a doofy comedy about a singing contest. Even when you think Ferrell and McAdams' characters might reach some level of growth, they instead revert to the same asinine routine they started out with, making the entire proceedings as tired and predictable as one could possibly imagine.


#79. Becky

While the premise of turning Home Alone into a low budget horror survival film might sound entertaining enough on the surface, Becky makes it look incredibly hard to pull off. Aside from it's predictable plot, Becky touts some pretty dreadful performances from Joel McHale, Kevin James, and Becky herself - Lulu Wilson. While I applaud Paul Blart for venturing outside of his comfortable wheelhouse of family friendly physical comedy, threatening is something he can absolutely not pull off. The film would have probably benefited from a more comedic tone but instead it takes itself way too seriously with actors that can't handle the gravitas that the paper thin script unfairly thrusts upon their shoulders.


#78. Breaking News in Yuba County

Despite it's incredible ensemble cast, Breaking News in Yuba County aims at being a backwoods heist black comedy but the plot is too flimsy for the heist aspect to stand on it's own and the script just isn't very funny. You can feel the talented performers reaching to pull something (hell anything) from this lackluster script but there's just nothing here. Just a dopey small town murder story about a lonely housewife looking for attention. Truly a shame, I was hoping Ma director Tate Taylor was going to give Allison Janney a much more quality vehicle but unfortunately, this is a massive disappointment from everyone involved.


#77. Black Bear

What the fuck did I just watch? The trio of Aubrey Plaza, Christopher Abbott and Sarah Gadon deliver solid performances in this cringey entanglement of relationship hell that celebrates it's unconventional structure and dense meta layers as it's strongest feature when really it's the biggest detractor. Again, the love triangle(s) at the center here are really only captivating due to the actors involved but otherwise - there's nothing really moving things along other than morbid curiosity. How does Aubrey Plaza always pull me into these inane pretentious art-house trash heaps?


#76. Capone

I never took the time to check out his much maligned 2015 Fantastic Four film but I felt bad seeing Josh Trank go from having the world at his fingertips after the success of Chronicle to being virtually chased off the set of both Fantastic Four and Rogue One. Unfortunately his comeback picture does very little to restore any faith in his abilities. Capone is a bizarre look at the final year of a mentally deteriorating gangster, riddled with paranoia and hallucinations. This is NOT The Untouchables - Tom Hardy spends the majority of the film chewing on a carrot instead of his trademark cigar, mumbling incoherently in his bathrobe and shitting himself. But there's no deep character study or psychological exploration of Capone either, just a series of unexpectedly weird and grotesque visuals. So if you've really been dying to see Tom Hardy caked in makeup, wearing a diaper and a bathrobe, shoot up his gardening crew with a solid gold tommy gun while crunching through a carrot like Bugs Bunny - this is the movie for you.


#75. Horse Girl

I've really enjoyed Jeff Baena's offbeat sense of humor in his previous films, Life After Beth and Little Hours, but this one just never connected for me. It starts off simple enough, with a socially awkward girl learning to branch out and start a new relationship in her otherwise isolated life. But what starts off as what could be a straight forward indie rom-com, quickly morphs into an ugly examination of mental instability. It's a jarring development and one that completely lost me as a viewer. You can't help but feel bad for the main character but when she becomes so wrapped up in her conspiracy theories and the terrible supernatural detective show she obsesses over, it doesn't leave anywhere for the film to progress other than watching her slip further and further away from reality.


View the Rest of the 2020 Tiers Here:


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