#9. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
With the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre's co-writer, Kim Henkel, returning to direct this reboot (remake? sequel? I don't think it knows what it is...) you'd think there would be a little more thought put into the proceedings. But nope. It's obnoxiously loud and overacted, foolishly relegating Leatherface to serving as a cross-dressing henchman while Matthew McConaughey and Tonie Perensky take on the primary villain roles. And Perensky in particular is absolutely atrocious. And the film looks so cheap and trashy that it'd be far too easy to think this was a fan film. And the awful attempts at humor are only outdone by the attempts to recreate moments from the original. This movie is truly terrible.
#8. Texas Chainsaw 3D
Taking the re-quel approach of ignoring all the other sequels in the series and picking up right where the original left off was a great idea. Especially with how little effort this franchise has placed on continuity. But everything else that follows is an absolute trainwreck. Particularly the way we're lead to feel sorry for Leatherface in the film's finale, as he's portrayed as some sort of misunderstood anti-hero. But the absolute cherry on top is Alexandra Daddario spouting the triumphant battle cry, "Do your thing cuz!" as she slides Leatherface his trusty chainsaw. Sweet Christ that was embarrassing.
#7. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
The last thing a Texas Chainsaw Massacre should be is boring. But going back and trying to over-explain the origins of a chainsaw wielding maniac with mid 2000's era torture porn and way too much R. Lee Emery is entirely unnecessary. I mean, it's not the worst movie in the series but at least those other two were somewhat interesting, if for only to see how truly awful they were. This is just bland and entirely forgettable.
#6. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
In this fourth (FOURTH!?) attempt to restart the franchise, Leatherface gets the legacy sequel treatment but it's a hard sell for this franchise that doesn't have much of a legacy. Especially when you have to re-cast your returning final girl. But the film has plenty of other failings as well - most notably the fact that it needlessly leans on political topics like late capitalism, gentrification, and school shootings to prop up what little plot there is while saying absolutely nothing about any of the hot button issues the film unnecessarily drudges up. But the absolute worst is when Leatherface corners a school bus full of kids who all simultaneously pull out their phones to record him, with one kid at the head of the pack even shouting "try anything, you're cancelled bro". Wow.
#5. Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III
After the over the top tone of it's predecessor, New Line Cinema set out to turn Leatherface into their next successful franchise boogeyman with this more subdued continuation of the character. And while it starts a little slow, I really enjoyed the final chase of this film and how effectively it recaptured the suspense of being hunted by the sadistic Sawyer family. Even though it's comparatively light on gore, I found this to be a surprisingly decent sequel with a solid Leatherface redesign.
Check out our list of the Top 10 Three-quels of All Time Here
#4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
12 years after the original, Tobe Hooper returns to deliver this gonzo follow up that feels about as 80's as any movie you've ever seen. I'm not entirely sure why Hooper took the series into such comedic terrain, why Bill Johnson appears to be imitating Donkey Kong for the majority of his performance as Leatherface, or whether or not Dennis Hopper really needs to be here at all - but for what it is, I don't hate it. There are some really fun moments, like Leatherface's drive by chainsaw attack on some frat boys calling into a radio station. And the special effects makeup from Tom Savini is truly some of the horror legend's most gruesome work. But it's still pretty cheesy.
#3. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Before sullying the good names of Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Amityville Horror or even the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with embarrassing remakes - Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes production company produced this stunningly well done remake as their debut feature. And although I didn't entirely love R. Lee Emery superimposing his drill sergeant character from Full Metal Jacket here, the rest of the movie's updates are really effective. Director Marcus Nispel creates a sleek, cold atmosphere that mirrors the original's subtext of industrialization while providing the series with an all new skin, more palatable for modern audiences. And I absolutely adored the found footage prologue and epilogue.
#2. Leatherface
No, not THAT Leatherface. The prequel. And no, not THAT prequel. Jesus, horror timelines are convoluted...So after TCM: The Beginning failed to bring in the same kind of box office success as the 2003 remake, Lionsgate bought the rights to the franchise for their own take on the property. Unfortunately though, Lionsgate feared the movie wouldn't be able to recoup it's cost and shelved the finished film for a year before dumping it exclusively onto DirectTV's video on demand service in 2017. That's why you've never heard of this movie. Which is a shame, because it's the most fresh take on the IP we've gotten to date and the most well-written entry in the series. Just stick with it, because at first it doesn't seem like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. But honestly, looking at the rest of the movies on this list, that may be the best thing it has going for it.
#1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Tobe Hooper's sadistic cultural touchstone forever helped to shape the horror genre for generations to come and it's effects continue to ripple throughout filmmaking everywhere. The raw, gritty, found footage quality makes the terror all that more palpable and removes the safety net feeling of a traditional Hollywood production. It feels as if anything can happen. The hand held cinematography drops the viewer right into the hot and ugly Texas summer for one of the most effectively chilling survival tales put to film. Along with Black Christmas and Psycho before it, Texas Chainsaw Massacre helped usher in the slasher era of horror with an iconic boogeyman and an unforgettable performance from Marilyn Burns as sole survivor Sally Hardesty. From the viscerally horrific kills to the barbaric villainous family (lead by the all too convincingly vicious Jim Siedow) to the iconic conclusion with Leatherface maniacally whipping his chainsaw against a rising sun as his escapee laughs hysterically covered in blood - this is a viewing experience guaranteed to make an impact on anyone who takes it in.
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