12 Movies, 29 years, and a buttload of body bags and jump scares - to celebrate this Friday the 13th we hack our way through the entire franchise from Worst to Best.
#12. Jason X
You know your franchise is in bad shape when the only idea you have left is to throw it into outer space. There's no reason for this movie to exist other than New Line Cinema trying to justify buying the rights to the Voorhees character and taking so long to develop Freddy v.s. Jason that they had to make a filler movie in between Jason Goes to Hell and FvJ to retain the rights. As a result we get Super Shredder v.s. a cyborg with fake nipples and David Cronenberg. And whatever crazy image that just popped in your head from reading that sentence is probably more entertaining than the actual movie so if you haven't already wasted 90 minutes of your life watching this shitshow - don't.
#11. Friday the 13th (Remake)
Let me just start by saying that the cold open for this film is absolutely spectacular. But as soon as the opening credits roll, Marcus Nispel's take on Crystal Lake is exactly what you'd expect in a Michael Bay produced remake in all the worst ways. Bland characters, no plot whatsoever, and a lifeless glossed over aesthetic that give this all the personality of a Hoobastank music video.
#10. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
I'll give it this, Jason Goes to Hell definitely goes all out in exploring the outer limits of where the Friday series is capable of reaching. But the execution is less than desirable and for what's totted as the "Final Friday", you'd want a little more of the title character involved and less of the extended Voorhees family. It doesn't help that the supporting cast is absolutely dreadful, so much that you keep wishing for Jason to come and put them all out of their misery but sadly, he never really does.
#9. Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning
A New Beginning is another bold move for the franchise that didn't quite pan out like it should have. Having the trauma of Jason's attack turn Tommy Jarvis into the new killer would have been a great pivot to rejuvenate the series but instead the film settles for a lame twist that pins the murders on a random EMS driver. Weak ending aside, the film also has some of the most grating characters of the entire series, painfully atrocious dialogue, and it's so cheap and trashy that it often feels like borderline softcore porn. Hard to believe a major studio put this out.
#8. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
The New Blood has some truly great moments including some gruesomely viscous death scenes and one of the more memorable casts of victims in the entire series. But the biggest thing holding it back is the film's final girl, Tina. The Friday the 13th series already has plenty of issues staying grounded in something resembling reality but adding in a telekinetic foe for Jason to square off with just adds another level of absurdity to what would have otherwise been a pretty solid sequel.
#7. Friday the 13th Part 3
As much as I love Shelly and the rest of the fan favorite ensemble cast, part 3 just doesn't hold up very well. The film moves at a snail's pace and all of the 3-D camera gimmicks make the movie seem like something out of an outdated theme park attraction. The scene where Jason finally gets his trademark hockey mask and subsequently takes out a bystander with a spear gun is one of the lone highlights but other than that, this might be one of the most overrated entries in the franchise.
#6. Freddy v.s. Jason
The logistical hoops you have to jump through to get a Freddy Krueger / Jason Voorhees crossover are pretty mind numbing (as is the entire cast of victims this go around) but finally seeing the two horror icons square off in the closing moments really make it all worth it. Sure it sucks that Jason is kind of made out to be the good guy in all of this but his killing spree at the cornfield rave is one of the most incredible sequences of the entire franchise and the final battle with Krueger is pretty remarkable. Too bad we never got round 2.
#5. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
I know most people hate this one but I think the majority of the backlash comes from the fact that it doesn't really take place in Manhattan (despite claiming such in the title). It's basically Jason Takes a cruise Ship, kills some kids in some cheap Toronto alleyways and takes a stroll down Times Square. But regardless, Kane Hodder is phenomenal in this entry portraying one of my absolute favorite incarnations of the masked killer and the change of scenery does make for an interesting shake up in the familiar Friday formula. Add in the late 80's, USA Up All Night feel and you've got one of the most criminally overlooked entries in the series.
#4. Friday the 13th Part 2
A lot of people rag on potato sack Jason but if you want to think about the progression of the Friday the 13th series logically (which I would highly advise against if you'd like to continue enjoying the mindless 80's carnage the series excels in) Part 2 is pretty spot on to what a Friday sequel should be. It's got some pretty brutal kills and does a brilliant job of building out the mythology of who Jason is and what drives him. Jason finally takes the spotlight as the new face of the franchise, despite not yet donning his iconic hockey mask. Add in Amy Steel as Ginny as one of the best final girls in the series and you've got one hell of a sequel.
#3. Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter
Even though we all know Part IV isn't actually The Final Chapter, the fourth entry still feels larger and more severe than it's predecessors. Lead by a hilariously pathetic Crispin Glover, a pre-Goonies Corey Feldman introduced as Tommy Jarvis, and an incredible turn by Ted White as the man behind the mask - The Final Chapter has the best overall cast of the entire series. Breaking up the cycle of sex and drug obsessed teens with the Jarvis family across the way gives this entry a much needed new perspective. And the final showdown between Jarvis and Voorhees makes for one of the best endings in a series full of memorable finales.
#2. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
Much like Dream Warriors is to the Nightmare on Elm Street series; Jason Lives is the prototypical rebound sequel. After the series ran off the rails with New Beginning, Jason returns bigger and badder than ever as an undead killing machine kicking off the zombie Jason era. It also gives a nice bookend to the Tommy Jarvis storyline and somehow manages to be the only film in the series that actually has Camp Crystal Lake featured as a functioning camp, with the threat of Jason actually attacking children making the stakes feel higher than ever. The film also isn't afraid to laugh at itself with it's fourth wall breaking winks at the audience mixed with a classic gothic monster movie aesthetic that makes it a standout in the series.
#1. Friday the 13th
I know most people turn to Friday the 13th to see a hockey mask wearing psycho hacking through horny teenagers but judging solely on quality - the original Friday the 13th is the best overall film in the series, even though Jason is hardly seen (save for that incredible jump scare ending). It's the "whodunit" mystery element that adds a sense of suspense and escalating tension that's never really recaptured throughout all 11 sequels. The follow ups are increasingly violent but never really capture the creepiness of Betsy Palmer's performance as Pamela Voorhees. She's more haunting and unnerving than any Jason appearance throughout the entire series. And director Sean Cunningham crafts an incredible atmosphere matched with the iconic score from Harry Manfredini that makes you feel as if you're spiraling into madness alongside Adrienne King while she discovers each one of her mutilated friends. It's a wild ride and the rare horror classic that somehow gets overshadowed by it's lesser sequels.
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