top of page
    • Aug 26, 2021

Top 10 Horror Movies That Deserve a Reboot

With Jordan Peele's take on Candyman finally hitting the big screen and reboots, requels, reimaginings and remakes no longer considered a hate crime against the horror genre - here are our nominees for the Top 10 films that could benefit from a modern day update.

#10. Phantasm

directed by Gareth Evans

starring

Logan Marshall-Green as Jody

Thomas Jane as Reggie

Noah Schnapp as Mike

Doug Jones as The Tall Man

Don Coscarelli's 1979 cult classic has all the makings of a horror staple ripe for being remade (mostly due to it's painfully dated effects) and Apostle director Gareth Evans would be just the right guy to bring the series the levity it deserves. Throw in Thomas Jane as franchise favorite Reggie and give the unsung backbone of that incredible Stranger Things ensemble, Noah Schnapp, a much deserved leading role alongside Upgrade's Logan Marshall-Green as Schnapp's older brother and you've got a hell of a good shot at improving upon the original.

#9. Poltergeist

directed by Mike Flanagan

starring

Olive Elise Abercrombie

Devon Sawa

Carla Gugino

I know this one technically already got remade a few years ago (I couldn't even finish it tbh) but the undercurrent of social commentary embedded in the original is pitch perfect for our current political climate as America uncovers it's problematic past. And with how poorly some of the effects have aged in the 1982 version, this story deserves another shot at being told. The Haunting of Hill House director Mike Flanagan has become a master of curating modern ghost stories so as long as he's in the director's chair, I trust that he can make a better update than Gil Kenan did in 2015.

#8. Creepshow

written by Stephen King

directed by Sam Raimi, James Wan, Jordan Peele, Guillermo Del Toro and Bong Joon-Ho

Stephen King is one of the most prolific creative forces in all of storytelling, so why we haven't brought him back into the fold to create more ghoulish anthology entries in the Creepshow series is beyond me. But rather than pairing him with one director, I say we take a page out of the Twilight Zone Movie's book and bring in a murderer's row of horror icons to work with King on each segment: Sam Raimi, James Wan, Jordan Peele, Guillermo Del Toro and Bong Joon-Ho. Let's just hope it turns out better than the Twilight Zone Movie did.

#7. The Howling

directed by Robert Eggers

starring

Anya Taylor-Joy as Karen

Michael Dorman as Bill

Ralph Ineson as Dr. Waggner

Megan Fox as Marsha

It's been a hot minute since we got a solid werewolf movie and who better to instill the eerie sexual assault trauma of the original than psychological horror expert Robert Eggers. Drop Anya Taylor-Joy in the lead role with Michael Dorman playing her significant other, Ralph Ineson as Dr. Waggner and Megan Fox as the seductress and this could absolutely work.

#6. Videodrome

directed by Alex Garland

starring

Oscar Isaac

St. Vincent

When it comes to technologically charged sci-fi horror, the best in the business right now is Ex Machina and Annihilation director Alex Garland. Seeing a visionary like Garland evolve the concept David Cronenberg introduced in 1983 to our modern day technological dependency would be incredible. Add frequent collaborator Oscar Isaac in the lead and replace singer turned aspiring actress Debbie Harry with Annie Clark (better known as St. Vincent) and I think you've got the recipe for a great update on Cronenberg's solid foundation.

#5. Hellraiser

directed by Ari Aster

starring

Will Poulter as Pinhead

Clive Barker's original is a masterpiece but this franchise has been absolutely run into the ground with cheap straight to video sequels and deserves a fresh start. And who better to bring horrific imagery of torture and human suffering than Hereditary and Midsommar director Ari Aster. Give me Will Poulter as Pinhead (who was originally slated to play Pennywise in the It remake) and I'm there. Honestly though, anything with Ari Aster directing has me in the theater. And with the broad entry point of the Hellraiser puzzle box, this could very easily be a re-quel style update that doesn't completely erase the original lineage.

#4. CHUD

directed by Rob Zombie

starring Macaulay (or Kieran) Culkin as Cooper

Sheri Moon Zombie

Ken Foree as A.J. Shepherd

Brad Douriff as Bosch

CHUD is a notoriously shlocky creature feature but at the film's core, there's a solid message of class disparity that could translate beautifully to modern times given the right vessel. And who better to speak for an underground network of misplaced outcasts than Mr. Robert Zombie. I'm sure his wife will get a role somewhere but there absolutely has to be a Home Alone tie-in given Daniel Stern and John Heard's involvement in the original film so maybe Rob can talk Macaulay Culkin into taking the lead role? If not, maybe Kieran? Although I'm not sure which is more unrealistic given Kieran's rising stock due to Succession...We're gonna need a sick synth score also. Somebody like Carpenter Brut or Perturbator would do it justice.

#3. The Running Man

directed by Neil Blomkamp

starring

Dave Bautista as Ben Richards

Michelle Rodriquez as Amber Mendez

Brian Tyree Henry as William Laughlin

Marshawn Lynch as Fireball

Terry Crewes as Captain Freedom

Chris Long as Dynamo

Hafpor Julius Bjornsson (The Mountain) as Buzzsaw

Solofa Fatu Jr. (Rikishi) as Subzero

Steve Harvey as Damon Killian

Brimming with hilariously dark social commentary and the seeds of what reality contest television could progress to in a dystopian future, The Running Man is one of Stephen King's most criminally underrated features. Perhaps because it's packaged as more of a Schwarzenegger film than a Stephen King film, a remake re-establishing the emphasis on the sadistic game show premise rather than the star and his signature one liners could really make a Running Man remake a great deal better than the original. District 9 director Neil Blomkamp is the perfect candidate to balance the cut-throat political satire and grizzly action. Roll out a star studded ensemble of former athletes like Marshawn Lynch, Terry Crewes, Chris Long, Hafpor Julius Bjornsson, and Rikishi for Dave Bautista to churn through and I'm ready to buy my ticket now.

#2. Maximum Overdrive

directed by Eli Roth

starring

Joe Keery as Bill

Natalia Dyer as Brett

John Goodman as Hendershot

Aisha Tyler as Connie

Hannibal Buress as Curt

Dee Wallace as Wanda June

I know I'm in the minority here but I still think the original is one of the best Stephen King movies to date. Regardless though, a horror film revolving around technology turning on humanity has never been more prescient. There's so much room for improvement here and since we were already denied the chance to see horror/comedy innovator Eli Roth adapt King's work with their cancelled "Cell" adaptation, this could be the perfect spot to rectify that missed opportunity. Let's bring in Stranger Things' Joe Keery and Natalia Dyer as the leads, John Goodman as the douchey truck stop manager, and Hannibal Buress with Aisha Tyler as the newlywed comic relief. Now you just gotta hope Marvel doesn't squash the possibility of that Green Goblin semi truck making an appearance and you've got a solid ass movie. Any chance we can get Rage Against the Machine to do the entire soundtrack like AC/DC did for the original?

#1. They Live

directed by Boots Riley

starring

CM Punk

Booker T

Ronda Rousey

As much as I love the concept of They Live, it absolutely needs an update. The film is incredibly uneven and Sorry To Bother You director Boots Riley could be just the person to bring in and push the absurd alien Illuminati angle to it's absolute zenith. And keeping in the spirit of the original, let's bring in some ex pro-wrestlers to lead the film like CM Punk in the lead role, Booker T taking over for Keith David and Ronda Rousey as Holly. Maybe Jeff Jarrett somewhere too? As much as studios are scrambling to try and replicate Jordan Peele's brand of social commentary infused horror, They Live has the perfect blue print to follow and build upon.


49 views0 comments
bottom of page