On the whole, 2022 wasn't the best year for movies. From tent-pole franchises to indie horror pretenders and lackluster award hopefuls, the year was mostly full of underwhelming output. But while the majority of our 2022 recap resides in the middle tier, these were the bottom of the barrel embarrassments that will haunt you until the end of your days. And even though I'm as tired as you are of hearing about it, there was no more embarrassing moment in 2022 than Will Smith's infamous Oscar slap. And thus, here are the awful films that embody that cringe-inducing, career tanking moment.
#105. The Munsters
I wouldn't necessarily call myself a Rob Zombie "fan", especially now that I've named his last two films as the Worst of the Year, but I do appreciate his work as a director on The Devil's Rejects and even his highly underrated Halloween remake. It's his writing that I've felt has always held him back as a filmmaker and displays an inability to grow beyond his hellbilly deluxe bag of redundant characters he revisits far too frequently. So I was hoping his first PG film set in the goofy universe of The Munsters might be a welcome change of pace and force him out of his comfort zone a bit. But instead, we're treated to the worst film of his career and a painful onslaught of unfunny dad jokes. From the gratingly dry humor to the atrocious score and the cheap neon aesthetic that looks like it could be recreated with a single trip to your nearby Spirit Halloween; this feels more like the Big Bad Beetleborgs than The Munsters. Rob really should have just thrown a Munsters-themed Halloween party for himself. And my God, I don't know what Jeff Daniel Phillips was going for with his Herman Munster voice here. Truly abysmal.
Check Out Our List of the Best Movies Based on TV Shows Here.
#104. Deep Water
This type of sleazy, erotic thriller has nearly gone extinct in today's marketplace
so I was a little curious to see what would bring Fatal Attraction, 9 1/2 Weeks and Indecent Proposal director Adrian Lyne back to the sub genre for his first film in 20 years. But with traditional relationships kind of evolving past the need for a marriage to force two responsible adults to raise a child, this entire film feels incredibly dated. There's no nuance or subtlety to the dynamics of Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas' relationship, just a blatant disdain between them. So why are they still married? They're just a bitter couple who've fallen out of love with one another, sniping each other in uncomfortable public settings. And there's no suspense here either, just a series of laughably bad murder scenes and Ben Affleck's weird affinity for raising snails in his beta man cave where he hides while his wife brazenly courts young fuckbois in his home.
#103. They/Them
This was a failure on so many levels. Most importantly, the fact that the film clearly wants you to think that Kevin Bacon may not be a villain here, even though he's the head figure of a gay conversion camp, just because he's a chill gay conversion camp leader. He's finally outed 70 minutes in like it's some grand reveal but I don't know how you're supposed to reasonably believe he's got good intentions. On top of that, there really isn't much substance in the LGBTQ costume this film wears. At it's core, this movie is still a mindless camp slasher with a bunch of horny teenagers. It just rehashes obvious talking points of pronouns and restroom usage to pretend it has some kind of moral substance. Instead we get a Glee-like P!NK musical number and an entirely wasted use of Kevin Bacon returning to the slasher genre.
#102. American Carnage
We've seen a lot of bad Jordan Peele impersonators over the past several years, but this is by far the worst I've seen yet. The confused tone offers no real laughs during it's numerous attempts at comedy and the threat never feels authentic enough to build any suspense. Diego Hallivis is trying to say something significant here but he doesn't take the time to build out the essential pieces of his story, like character or any tension within the story. Even the villains aren't really well established, they're just perpetuating lazy "us v.s. them" stereotypes. Now some of the unconvincing characters may be due to the dreadfully bad performances (not you Jenny Ortega, you're a queen) but mostly it's the idiotic "twist" that holds this film back. It doesn't enhance the narrative in any way, it just confounds it.
#101. The Forgiven
I was really hoping Martin McDonagh's older brother, John Michael, might have a breakthrough hit on his hands with this adaptation but unfortunately the stiff and long winded diatribes did not translate well to film AT ALL. Despite an impressive collection of actors this feels like an overwritten table read, not entirely dissimilar to Ridley Scott's 2013 flop, The Counselor. There's some middling notions about culture shock and class disparity but none of it really matters in the long run and with such unlikable characters at the fore front, there's nothing to engage the viewer whatsoever. Massively disappointing considering all the talent involved.
#100. Morbius
The movie that so many people took pleasure in mocking online that it actually memed it's way back into theaters to bomb for a second time, Morbius is an utterly empty origin story that nobody asked for. And with the film's initial release slated for March 2021 and then being held a full year until it finally hit theaters in April 2022, how are the visual effects still this bad? The whole thing reeks of the stale mid-2000's comic book movie aura on par with the Fantastic Four or Daredevil. There are some unintentionally enjoyable moments like Matt Smith really feeling himself as a super human vampire and Al Madrigal's smart ass investigator, who seems to revel in making a mockery of the film with us, but overall the movie is hard to describe as anything but pointless. And how does Jared Leto keep getting these major film roles? Is there some big producer with a man crush? Or does he have dirt on somebody? What gives?
#99. Men
Calling your elevated horror film "Men" in 2022 is pretty on the nose and unfortunately, the obvious title choice is fitting for Alex Garland's first dud of a feature film. His previous work (Ex Machina, Annihilation, and the streaming series Devs) has always been highly insightful and intellectually rewarding but with Men, there's no new ground covered. Men can be creepy and manipulative. No matter how many sequences of surreal, visceral imagery you throw at us - there's not much else this is trying to say. It's an arthouse horror picture without a compelling narrative or an original thesis. More of a visual essay, socially conscious mindfuck, castigating the cult of procreation. A major letdown for one of horror's most fascinating young directors.
#98. The Bubble
Judd Apatow is definitely far from his filmmaking prime but nothing he's directed before has ever felt this sloppy and haphazardly constructed. It's obviously a film being constructed during COVID (hell, it's the biggest "comedic" crutch of the film) and it honestly feels like he just locked a bunch of B-list celebrities in a mansion with his family to make up a movie as they passed time during lockdown. Which is why the plot is absolute dogshit, attempting to be some sort of industry satire while not really making any significant statement or providing many laughs along the way. Just 2 hours of zoom cameos and shitty TikTok dance sequences lead by Apatow's daughter. And why do they even bother continuing to film their awful movie within a movie after all the fucked up things that happen to them? It's just idiotic. Netflix didn't need to dump this much money and resources into something the Apatow family could have filmed themselves on their phones at home.
Check Out Our List of the Best Judd Apatow Projects Here.
#97. Amsterdam
David O. Russell's star studded period piece is an absolute mess and one of the most disappointing films of the year. Unless ***SPOILER*** you have a weird desire to see somebody shove Taylor Swift under an oncoming car. Honestly, that was the highlight for me. Other than that, Russell seems to be emphasizing the wrong things with this film, as the trio of leads does not come off as charming as he seems to think they are. Even Once Upon A Time In Hollywood somehow made better use of Margot Robbie than this does. And she had like 6 lines in that...David O. Russell seems so preoccupied with his forced messaging of true love and anti-elitist sermonizing that the convoluted story that proceeds it feels neglected and unfinished as a result. There might have been a good movie here somewhere if he had spent more time ironing out the script but as it is, it's massively forgettable.
#96. Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul
I'll be honest, I never would have watched this movie if I hadn't seen that it was produced by Jordan Peele. But don't be fooled like I was, this has none of the intellectual depth or social commentary that his involvement would typically indicate. Regina Hall and Sterling K. Brown are brilliant performers but outside of their hypocritical caricatures, this movie has absolutely nothing to it. You could probably guess the exact plot of the film from the trailer. Actually, whatever your imagination fills in is probably more interesting than what writer/director Adamma Ebo put together here. Empty, predictable and pointless. Never goes full tilt comedy but lacks the depth to actually establish any drama.
#95. Jurassic World: Dominion
Jurassic Park really never needed a sequel, let alone FIVE. And after the narrative corner Fallen Kingdom trapped the franchise in, this "final" entry into Colin Trevorrow's Jurassic World trilogy carries with it all of the enthusiasm of a funeral march. Not even the infusion of the original cast members can liven up this sleepy and predictable continuation of a franchise that would have been better off being left for extinction. This trilogy is exactly the kind of hollow marketing ploy Ian Malcolm rails against in the original Jurassic Park, as Trevorrow & company merely "stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had, you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunch box and..." well you get it.
Check Out Our List of the Best Action Franchises of All Time Here.
#94. Windfall
The writer/director of 2017's The Discovery, Charlie McDowell, re-teams with Jason Segel here for this home invasion hostage drama which feels criminally underdeveloped. It briefly brushes up against the topic of wealth inequality but other than that, just like Lilly Collins in the film, you start to feel like you're being held captive wandering around this luxurious property with bored millionaires yourself. There's literally a montage of characters checking their watches. And as much as I love the three leads, there's absolutely no depth to their characters and no plot development for them to even grow within. I mean Christ, there are 4 characters in the entire movie and you named them "Nobody", "Wife", "CEO", and "Gardener". Did you even try? And as much as I love seeing Jason Segel in these unexpected roles, he really isn't all that threatening holding two people hostage on his own when you don't even see his gun until 30-40 minutes in. A complete waste of three amazing actors, sitting around an empty house with nothing to do.
#93. A Christmas Story Christmas
Watching this unnecessary (and horribly titled) sequel to A Christmas Story, I think I realized that aside from the iconic parents played by Darren McGavin and Meldina Dillon, maybe the best thing going for the original film was the charismatic voice over provided by author Jean Shepheard as adult Ralphie. But sadly this follow up is without all 3 of them, and spotlights Peter Billingsly waaaaaaay too much as he takes center stage and provides his own voice over narration. You really miss Bob Clark's subtle hand as the director here also because not only are the comedic beats gimmicky and obvious but the retro 1950's feel of the first movie was so well crafted. This follow up takes place in the 1970's but you can hardly tell after the tacky game-show day dream ends 20 minutes into the movie. I did enjoy the dreaded "wife call at the bar" bit though, that worked. But not much, if anything, else did.
Check Out Our List of the Best Comedy Sequels of All Time Here.
#92. Halloween Ends
For David Gordon Green's final entry in his Halloween trilogy, he delivers a quiet little character driven story with Michael, Laurie and even her granddaughter Allyson faded into the background as newcomer Corey Cunningham weirdly takes center stage for the first 90 minutes of the movie. Which is a shame because the evolution of Laurie and Allyson is actually quite interesting here but Corey is a pretty dreadful character. Think Friday the 13th Part V Tommy Jarvis. A predictably quiet beta male with a cartoonishly evil mother, who is then finally pushed over the edge by a group of bullies - quite literally actually, as he's not so subtly pushed off of a bridge - and then stumbles upon a reclusive Michael Myers who he's then taken under his tutelage as a murderous apprentice. Which does carry over the theme from Halloween Kills of fear and hatred spreading, this time it's just directly into a singular vessel for evil instead of an angry mob. And I don't even blame Rohan Campbell who plays Corey, it's the awful fucking script and abysmal dialogue that features gems like "rip off your shirt, show grief your tits and say let's fucking go". To be honest, you could probably just tack the last twenty minutes of this film onto Halloween Kills as an epilogue and be just fine pretending the rest never even happened.
Check out Our Ranking of the Entire Halloween Franchise Here.
#91. Apollo 10 1/2: A Space Age Childhood
Richard Linklater returns with another rotoscope animation piece in the vein of Waking Life or A Scanner Darkley but this film spends so much time providing historical context of the summer of 1969, it starts to feel like an animated documentary. Seriously, you don't need to rundown the exact TV lineup for what was airing that summer. The entire film has an incredibly unwieldy, rambling "back in my day" scope that eclipses any attempt at a real narrative story being told. Just a never ending sequence of computerized renderings of "remember when" moments from Linklater's childhood. Detailed and thorough, no doubt. But entertaining? Not that much. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard narrator Jack Black with less energy in his entire career. The movie even sucked the electricity out of that dude somehow, which is really the only thing this movie accomplishes successfully.
#90. VHS 99
There are a few solid segments spread out over the 5 installments of VHS but overall, this series has always felt more concerned with spoon feeding it's audience nostalgic stylistic call backs than quality horror anthology material. This entry more so than any before it. With the nonsensical wrap around sequences of stop motion army men toys, a lame CKY homage with a cursed punk band called BitchCat, horny teens spying on a neighbor's webcam and a Legend of the Hidden Temple style kids game show gone awry - this thing is absolutely drenched in "only 90s kids will get this" nostalgia-bait. Although Steven Ogg as the host of "Ozzy's Dungeon" was pretty phenomenal, the whole thing starts to feel like a bad Eric Andre skit. "Suicide Bid" is probably the most effective of the segments, utilizing the simplistic claustrophobic setting to it's full potential. Although the cheap zombie make up finale kind sends that one out on a sour note as well. Definitely the weakest of this primarily weak series (save for "Safe Haven" from VHS 2, that one rules).
View the Rest of the 2022 Year in Tiers Here:
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